Memories into scars

He found the sunlight within my darkness When I saw the black night sky, he saw the moon that shone in me When I felt alone, he showed I was the infinite stars  He found the sound when I was in silence.

  I am Sorry Saju.  A tiny little heart speaks to me,  I am Sorry Saju.  Why are u so naive...  Why do u want to hide in cave? Is this the real You? Is this what you want to do? U have dreams Has it just come melting creams? Why are you being so innocent? Feeling none along in adjacent Its all-around  being so fake For how long will you take. Hey Saju, shake and wake Live for urself, for your sake People took away ur spaces They have your traces Its your time Be your own shine Its best to keep on trying Just than crying I am there Saju, We will together grow you and u will be the first choice of who because I am there for you <3

 I wish I wasn’t left alone. My thoughts keep on screaming in the emptiness of my loneliness. They keep on scratching and crushing, without a good hand to hold back to what seems to be happy. My smiles and touches of laughter have turned into a temporary bliss. I wished … I really wish, can t it last a little more. Just a little more that, I don’t want to just suddenly fall back from the darkness I came from. I wish… I wish, why am  I not a given the chance to enjoy the happiness… It s presence… Its touch… Its essence……….. Happy curves and the glow on my face…. Aah... I often forget how to smile naturally, without posing…….. Why…do I get attached to it very soon……In their eyes, I see a lack of love….. I just give away….My emotions to warm them..To feel that… someone is genuinely der to ask how ur day was……..what are u feeling rite now….. it is okay to be not okay…….. Just a call away… just a text away………. Ahh.. Those real human emotions… to smile… to laugh…….. to cry… weep…....

Don't you feel messed up? I completely do. In a dilemma now, what and who.... At times I tell just shut up. You know something Shutting up is something I can't cling Maybe I may not speak out But every single time the inner me shouts. Really I am blessed I don't have problems as many  But I am in a mess Feeling dirty and uncanny. I have dreams Soar them to reality my conscience screams.. But I don't know why  My body ends up in cry. People around for small talks, Feel good for a just a block Why man... U don't need to show It's not necessary just to know But somewhere I wished Whom I wanted to be cared by Just at least slipped dm with a "Hi" And say how much we missed. Things have changed I am but still engaged People have left places  But I still wish for that spaces But now I want them to be decayed And burnt forever  With not even ashes be stayed. As if we existed for never. The rage in the fire pushed me I know I will come out free Never to kneel d...

It's rare to see true Faces, damn, it's really few. It's painful to see the change, And makes it harder to engage. Aah, why do they do, I wonder, without a clue. The feeling to know now, what? Doubts whether ,this or that? U may say I should leave But I just try to believe It's just phase... Still it's not my first case..  Every time I know I am fooled My eyes pooled. But those days are really cold I rather stop, to unfold. How can they fake? Killing innocent trust in every take. How can this profit? With poisonous lies as spits. Wished to point out it every single time  But finally I was always said to Get OUT!!!

My pillows are the witness For my eyes wetness. Every day, it starts But doesn't tell me how to stop. My face always have a glow Trying to hide the low Happily none came to know And still , it is in a flow. My eyelashes drenched And mind wrenched, Looking out for a cheer To pull me out of the fears. The nights are a pain Sleepless with mouth shut Nothing to gain But making me more insane. My eyes look weak Hence, specs became my freak I started falling ill Woke up with thought to self- kill. My tears couldn't hold But I am trying to be bold It's been long time this way But none noticed to say. It really hurts I am sick But Want to convert To happy kick.  Will I live for that? Or my tears would be unread?

Today is a very special day for me....Means one of the day when hardwork , dedication , hell lot of patience and chunks of humiliation, finally brought the results. I got the recognition of my work from the person I wanted from. The 10th day of June month of the year 2021. The person who was my cause of writing , said to me today to keep it going. The most appreciated words which I was desperate for. Almost 1 yr ago started writing.... I was little heart broken then. I realised that writing was a ventilation to my pains and thoughts. The person had blogspot, seeing their posts ...I also felt like writing... One day to express my gratitude I shared one of the link of my post, they said, that not to share it again... It made me really sad again... I was in an agony....  Further I didn't feel like writing.... but I used to follow their post.My comments on their posts got deleted ,it was excruciating...but still ones a fan always a fan.... Atleast once a week I checked for a new post i...

I deadly laugh Not for maim jokes But to savage answers N sharpened talks If u see the smile on my face Believe it ,it's a dumb case. Come on man I will never be your fan, Keep away your lame jokes I am sharper and pierce who with fork.

Came to this world alone  Crowded by many unknown They helped me to step A lot of mini prep.   But I was alone From the beginning, I felt I stood for what I dealt I tried not to be a clown.   Life feels so unreal These days are unclear. Not even an inch to confide The fear of being aside.   Shutting behind myself inside screams a free elf. To open my eyes Only sense my cries.   Where am I Feeling life is a lie An inner who is shy Quietly moving to die.

Today I lost myself What I thought was existing Has just got expired. That presence Has now no essence Even though it's hard credence It pains  Left with nothing

Mohabbat ki raho main chalkr ham yun badnam hue. Is safar main mila dard se ham gumnam hue... Ye log ,mere chaahne valo ko meri naam se pukaar kar use dard adha karte hain ... Uske khushnubha lamhon main bhi mera naam jodkar use khafa karte hain... Mohabbat gunah hain... Mujhe ye majboor kehna padh raha hain... Mere hisse ka dard mere mehboob ko sehna padh raha hain.... Abh darthe hain ishaar karne se... Kise khabar hain ham kiski nigaaho main mujrim bane... Yeh log phir kabhi use mere naam se pukare aur use nazar jhukane pade.... Modified by- Shiddat

When you hear my silence Just realise I am not listening you.

Seeing you is a treat to my eyes All the wind smells of different slice Lost in thoughts Body temperature rise to hots. Having you around, My world changes Which is not bound And desperate it to last ages. Talking to you , gives me chill And want it to last until We meet again to fill Our date's paybill...

Everytime my feet took me there Today I am surprised you are here Whom to thank Or it's just a chance Atleast got your seat for a glance The distance is far Hope not like of a star Finally, you had to join Now it feels more than a coin It takes so hard not to glare My mind says to eyes it's not fair I know you no more care But my feelings are always in the air A sight, a day Makes me give my smile a way To walk mindlessly in cheer But with a pinch of fear That I know the time is in run I don't how to stop it, with a gun? But where ever you are  I will always be silently there....

Music is my breath Without u , I am suffocated U r my solace  Helping me through trance Just be like buzz I want to be in ur guess My state of mood Is in ur code Thank you for motivating Thank you for entertaining Thank you for crying Thank you for dancing I owe u my mind Love you for being kind Even when I am sad Or turn into a mad

It is easy to be woman Said a man... Really? How ? All she has to do is be at home Ofcourse 

You know something, I am a person who is like whatever the opportunity is there just go and grab it. No care for self esteem going down. Come what may !!!! Getting laughed at has become a habit. I know that some with envy might whisper my success. You know why? Because if you keep on being scared we will lose many amazing opportunities in this tiny-winy time you r having in this earth. It might be hell , but if you think to be happy and fun , you will get and be the vibes.   So I am done with my PEP talks, coming back to main topic. Yeah!!! So, when I was in 10th , I gave my name for inter class debate competition. My English teacher really believed on atmanirbharta ( even in 2018), so we had prepare our debate by ourselves. I was feeling like I have put myself in trap, but the funda of 1life , 1 chance, said just do it no harm.But when I was in my classroom , the vibes were that trophy was made for me!!!! haha. I practiced, last day also made changes in the facts and...

Tune in  Move on Let the bygones be bygones Be strong,. Stand for yourself for every wrong, Make yourself a tong With toughness for long.. I can do it I will do it. Because it's destinied for me. It's my role to be in glee. I have to  I must do

Am I sick? I trying not to pick Fights and tricks But it literally pricks... I am losing.. I am confusing... I am crying I am still trying... The happy face is a mask It's now hard task... I am loosing my taste Feeling like a waste... Others can find me to help But I can't find myself to help I am trying not to lose I am trying not to choose Losing interest  Mind is in unrest Feelings all in arrest I am falling of trust Inside it burns All night only into turns Life is getting barred My heart it is getting tarred. I don't belong I don't go along It's getting hard Is my life going to fall as card? I am bad I am mad Literally I am sad Left no more fad... I am not scared Of not being cared All I did is I dared But now I am not being bared.... I am sleepless Getting senseless Sometimes heartless And always restless... Something is not right And it's getting tight I am trying hard to bite I am getting away from sight...

A simple man with a tie Which he made with keen eye With honours at high Had made me feel his as my... With all his tight hugs Are felt strong as plugs The way he smiles I feel to walk with him a mile. The way he used to feed Now I miss that need It touched my heart indeed His thoughts are always a seed The art in his hands Are expensive than brands His mouth-organ still dials My ears r still in that vibes. I enjoy his shrine His love made a sign Hope to meet him soon to dine Hope keeps himself fine...